Walk With Watson to The Arnold – Round 4

Ah, music to my ears… it’s so funny to think that when Brian looks at me and tells me that I have lost my booty and boobs that I get so freaking excited! Yes!!!! I say, that is just what mama wants to hear! Sweet victory, I am getting lean! Most men would not be getting excited at the sight of their woman losing all of the fat in their chest and boobs; however, our significant others in this industry rejoice at this fact! Yes, they too are proud that all of our hard work is finally paying off…or coming off! Beyonce and Kim Kardashian you are once again in your own league…until we meet again…in the off-season.

Like clockwork, every morning at 4:30am, Sam (my heffer, I mean overweight k-9 boxer) comes to wake me up and says, “mama, get your butt up…you’ve gotta do your cardio and win us some money…I’m tired of you buying me these cheap ass generic doggie biscuits while you’re buying your greedy butt exotic fish from around the world.” Well, in my mind she’s saying that. So, I roll out of bed – zombie like, wearing only my granny panties, Haines sports bra, and tennis shoes (yes, super sexy…come to mama) and I hop on the treadmill that is sitting in the middle of our living room and do my first cardio session of the day… two more to go today.

I am continuing to lose my mind as the days go on. Somehow, I ended up at work wearing two different shoes – one black and one brown, but hey, at least they were the same style! Good thing I had my shower shoes in my gym bag. My “business casual” work attire is getting more relaxed these days and my britches are getting so baggy on me that I’m looking more and more like MC Hammer…I have to fasten my belt so tightly it might as well be attached to my bra! Steve Urkel – meet MC Hammer! My hair has not come out of a bun or seen a flat iron since last year sometime….make-up? Huh, a thing of the past! Deodorant? If I remember.

They cut my protein down this week, however, I still have musical britches….yes, I am a gas monster indeed! My stomach continues to cramp so bad that I have to wait until I get home to do abs so that I don’t clear the gym of all its business! Just when I think it’s safe, someone walks around the corner and I am forced to keep this painful gas inside of me which creates a cramp so bad that it can only be compared to a gunshot wound….well, maybe not that bad.

This past week has been especially tough on me. I am feeling physically, emotionally, and mentally drained and sometimes I feel like I can no longer go on. I find myself crying out of exhaustion, contemplating whether or not I’m good enough to stand next to the other pro’s on stage, and wondering if I will show up looking my best. I wonder if I don’t place as well as I hope – will I disappoint my family and supporters? When I pose in front of the other girls I still feel shy and insecure and wonder if they are judging me. Am I crazy to feel this way?…Will two weeks ever get here? Jesus, help me get through this.